THAT WOULD BE ME xiii - serialisation of chick lit (if you must) novel of neo colonialism and identity

That Would Be Me

Chapter Thirteen
In which our heroine is being drawn further into the prosperous life she is attracted to and nauseated by and surprised by some very good fortune occasioned by a great loss.

'Shower tea? Of course. When do you want to have it? I didn't know people had them any more. Will you need any help?'

Lauren was engaged to Graeme and she had told Allison she expected a shower tea - all the old gang and some of the new, fifteen.

Allison had left home to live in Alexandria and was reluctant to ask her mother for the favour so she had asked her if there was any possibility of having it at Mrs Coleman's, there was so much room. 'It might be kind of fun, sort of. You know, it's so ... anachronistic. You could document it, or use it, it's so anachronistic, or something.'

She was taken by the idea; if she did hold the shower tea for Lauren, it would seal something.

Since stopping work she had gradually been inviting a few friends around. Mrs Coleman obviously liked meeting them but took pains not to linger. She was enjoying her opportunities to be more social. At first she had found the evenings empty but over several months had learned to fill them, to use them. She spent many of them in the university library and at the State Library. She was doing an evening college course in Australian art. For the first time in Australia, she found herself going out - to the theatre, concerts of all sorts, lots of films. She had a joined a 'cell' dedicated to making short films and documentaries. If Mrs Coleman announced she wasn't going out on a certain night, she would often dedicate it to watching television with her.

She told Mrs Coleman, yes, she would like help with the shower tea and that Allison was also involved. Mrs Coleman consulted her friends and a menu was decided on. Gin and tonic would be offered to signal the end of the afternoon.

But they stayed and drank more and more of the gin.

'I'm so sorry,' one of the last guests recollected herself at the door, 'I couldn't leave. I know I overstayed my welcome but I just couldn't leave, it was so beautiful.'

And so it had been. Mrs Coleman's flat had impressed everyone, Lauren especially. 'How much would this be worth?' she had inquired while Mrs Coleman was supervising Mrs Desouza in the kitchen. 'Graeme's parents want to invest in somewhere we can live.'

'Forget it Lauren, they couldn't afford it,' Allison informed her.

'My parents - '

'They still couldn't afford it.'

After she'd come over to see in just what circumstances My Shower Tea was to be celebrated, Lauren's eyes had been opened to the charms of inner city living. 'Casuarinas' itself had impressed her but when Mrs Desouza appeared with the tea things she was convinced. Afterwards, they had taken her for a walk and Lauren had gazed about in deep calculation.

Mrs Coleman wore her blue patterned silk suit for the occasion and presided from afar, joining them in the gins and tonic after she had sent Mrs Desouza home.

She had decided on a simple pale blue linen frock, unassuming, fresh, almost innocent, she had explained to herself. She made it herself on the sewing machine Mrs Coleman had allowed her to install in a corner of the study. She pinned the butterfly brooch to the blue linen. Several of the girls couldn't help saying, 'Is that real?'

Lauren, dressed in silk herself, and professionally styled, gloated over the success of the occasion. She brought flowers around the next day and asked her to be a bridesmaid.

Mrs Coleman smiled and nodded.

She hid her distress by exclaiming, 'Oh no! Really? But ... You have so many good, old friends.'

'I want you. I have to have Allison. Will you tell her to grow her hair out? And I'm having Letitia and Merrie. Graeme's niece is going to be flower girl. I don't think I'll have a page.'

'Well thank god for that.' Mrs Coleman said.

'But I might. If I decide on two flower girls.'

Shortly after, Mrs Coleman excused herself.

They met up in the morning room when Lauren had gone. Mrs Coleman raised her brows.

'I so do not want to be a bridesmaid. I didn't know what to say.'

'What can you say?'

'Well exactly. Oh, grrrr. What's involved?'

'I believe it's negotiated these days. Somewhat. But I imagine you'll be paying for your own gown.'

'I'll make it.'

'If you can. I'd say she's the type who's already picked out what you're going to wear. Something in sack cloth and ashes, if I'm any judge of character.'

She laughed. Then asked, 'Why me? I'm not ... one of her set. Not really. I don't come from the North Shore, for a start.'

'Looking around yesterday, I'd say she needed you.'

'What for?'

'Don't underestimate yourself, my dear.' Mrs Coleman stroked her cheek as she passed out of the room. 'I've got to get ready.'

She fled to her room and called Allison.

'I know already,' Allison said, 'she consulted me.'

'What did she say? Why didn't you tell her ... ?'

'What? What could I say? I didn't even know for sure that you wouldn't want to be - '

'God, Allison! As if ... I thought I was to blame for dashing her hopes about Lou, or something.'

'Oh that's all forgotten, ma sœur. I was informed that boy Comms students all turn out to be queer in any case. And that Graeme is planning to have his own practice in two years time.'

'Oh good. Where?'

'Blaxland. She won't be living there, of course. Then from Blaxland to Macquarie Street. They have it all worked out. I didn't tell her Lou's switching to Law, she might have broken off the engagement.'

Lauren showed them the fabric and asked her if she would make the bridesmaids' dresses, as a wedding present.

'I don't have the time, Lauren. You obviously have no idea of the work involved.'

'The other girls could help you. Merrie's mother's got a machine, I think.'

She ended up making her own and Allison's. Allison paid for the material.

The reception was at a reception place and formulaic. She found herself the object of Lou's attention. He managed to sit next to her and they danced. Macalister danced with her too and wanted to dance again but Lou was hovering. She hesitated. She liked Macalister and he looked beautiful in his rented dinner suit and done hair. However, he was about eighteen. Macalister glared at Lou and retreated.

The M C rounded the 'single ladies' up so that the bride could toss her bouquet. Before she turned her back, Lauren made sure everyone knew Allison was the intended recipient.

'Tell me this isn't happening,' Allison said. She stood stock still as the bouquet whizzed at her.

'Grab it, Allison!' her mother yelled.

But Letitia dived and held it aloft.

'I'm going,' Allison said.

Her mother rushed up to her and said, 'Why didn't you grab it? It was just there.'

'Drive me to the station, I'm getting a headache.'

'But you're staying ... The bride hasn't even changed yet.'

'I'll get Mac to then.'

'No. I'll drive you. I thought you'd got over them.'

Allison turned to her. 'Want to come? Mac will drive us. We can go somewhere sordid and get drunk. Someone's bound to want to pick us up in this harlotry.' Allison swept her hand dismissively over her bridesmaid's gown.

Mrs Blackmore stared aghast at her daughter who moved off to find her brother. 'I don't know what's happened to Allison. Ever since that trip to Noumea she's ... '

Mac told her he'd taken Allison home where she'd got changed and then to the station.

She was very much regretting not leaving with her friend.

The bride would not go. Even when the reception room staff started asking people to get out of their way so they could clean up,, Lauren danced and frolicked on in her bridal gown. She'd announced that she was going to dance with every man there. After her father had had a word with her, she demanded her bridesmaids come and help her change into her going-away outfit.

'Where's Alli?'

'She got a headache and had to go and get a tablet.'

Lauren prolonged the changing for an unconscionable time.

Only when her father stood at the door and yelled, 'There'll be no-one here to wish you good-bye if you don't come now, right now!' did she consent to go forth.

She made extended conversation with everyone gathered in the circle to wish her well.

She contemplated the refinement of Lauren’s sadism, wondered if Graeme was panic stricken with doubt.

Finally the couple left. There was a single ironic cheer.

She just wanted to be at home. So she accepted Lou's offer of a lift.

She was all but silent in the car. Going over the Bridge he placed his hand over hers.

Parked outside Mrs Coleman's he turned the engine off and began to chat, about the wedding, about uni. He was sure she'd do better in her next assignment for Semiotics and Information Matrices, she just had to remember they didn't want to know anything about history, that didn't matter, it was about, you know signs and receptors, marketing basically.

‘Oh history,’ she laughed, ‘that’d be the last thing I ...’

When she began gathering her things to go he said, 'You're not still going out with that Korean guy, are you? You broke up. didn't you?'

'Cal?'

He nodded.

'We're just friends, we were only ever ... friends. He's got to go back to Japan.'

He smiled and when she turned to thank him, kissed her.

Though she was surprised, she played it out to some extent before wiggling away from him.

Mrs Coleman had left a note for her on the hall stand, it asked her to ring Isobel Tierney as soon as she could.

'Are you sitting down, dear? I'm afraid I have some bad news.'

Therese was dead. Lady Tierney had noticed the mail had not been picked up for a few days and 'the people in the shop said Therese hadn't been down for a few ... the police and the ambulance came. They had to knock ... break the lock to get in. 'They said she had been dead … only a matter of days. I don't think there was any pain, dear.'

They went together to the funeral.

In the chapel Kath turned around to glare at her.

There were sandwiches and a cup of tea in the funeral parlour afterwards.

Kath bore down on her. 'Well you must be very pleased with yourself.'

Lady Tierney drew back then reached out a hand to lay on her companion's arm.

‘Funny seeing you here, Isobel!'

A woman bowled up to stand beside Kath.

'Mort says I should challenge. And I'm thinking of it, I can tell you. Don't think you're going to get away with this. There's laws here, no matter where you come from, Miss.'

'Yes,' the friend added, 'Kath deserved more. Better. Something. Taking advantage of a sick woman.'

'Undue influence, it's called,' Kath added in response to their silence. 'Mort says ... '

She felt Lady Tierney's hand exert some pressure. She turned away from Kath.

Kath reached out and grabbed at her.

She swung around to face her.

'Don't you walk away while I'm talking to you. I'll see you in court. You don't deserve it, what did you do? You were just a boarder. I was her friend for years - decades!'

Lady Tierney's grip firmed. Before she shepherded her away, she said to Kath, 'You're upset, we all are. Control yourself, please. Come, we'll go now.'

She wept in the taxi.

Lady Tierney tut tutted and said, 'Come now. There, there.' And pressed a handkerchief into her hand.

Lady Tierney accompanied her into Mrs Coleman's.

She asked Mrs Desouza to make them a cup of tea. While it was coming she got herself and Lady Tierney whiskies. When Mrs Desouza had placed the tea tray on the table and gone she said, 'I was the best friend I could be.'

'Of course you were. No-one could have endured ... put up with that for long. That woman was ... appalling. What behaviour! Don't think about it.'

'I don't think I was a bad influence. Influence?'

'Of course not. I don’t think it means … She was just ... irrational. Mrs Sullivan was not the type who was easily influenced, unfortunately. She was of sound mind, despite ... I'm prepared to get up in court and say so.'

'Court?'

'I'm sure it was just an empty threat. Wills make people so greedy, you see it over and over again. Over nothing. A little flat. I'm sure she's comfortable.' Lady Tierney saw the idea dawning on her. 'Didn't you know?'

'Know what?'

Lady Tierney took some time replying. 'I could only infer that Mrs Sullivan ... left you something. And that woman, her so-called friend, resents that.'

The idea flooded through her. Her face burned. She thrust the whisky away. 'I don't think so,' she said at last to Lady Tierney.

At the door, Lady Tierney said, 'I have a very good lawyer, I'm sure you won't need her services but ... She takes more than a professional interest in my affairs and ... You were very important to Mrs Sullivan, you know. If need be you must fight this, for her sake. But I'm sure there'll be no need.'

Two weeks later she was summoned to Therese' solicitor's. Therese had left her the flat and the lapis necklace, everything else was to go to Therese's charity.

She mentioned Kath's behaviour.

The solicitor waved the worry away.

Several months later she was back in his office to take possession of the deed, the keys and the necklace. 'Will you sell it?' he asked.

She didn't know.

'Didn't look as though it meant much to her, ' he told his wife that night.

She let herself into 'Longleat' and the flat. It was empty and despite the warm day, cold. It still reeked of cigarette smoke.

She went into her old room. She opened the window. A warm breeze blew in. She went through the flat throwing open the windows. Then she went upstairs and knocked on Lady Tierney's door.

Lady Tierney eventually asked her what she intended doing.

She looked puzzled.

'Will you be thinking about selling?'

She really hadn't made up her mind so she looked blank.

'I know ... Of course you haven't had time to think about it but ... There will be associated expenses - Margaret Coleman would be so sorry to lose you, now. It could be a nice source of ... I'm sure Mrs Sullivan wanted you to be secure.'

'Yes,' she said.

'We don't encourage renting but in the circumstances ... Have you got someone who advises you, financially?'

She nodded.

Cal had told her to sell Therese's flat and buy shares.

Michiyo's Todd said he'd look at it if she liked.

Therese's flat was redecorated and rented.

'Good for tax,' Todd said, 'negative gearing. You can't lose in any case.'

Mrs Coleman told Lady Tierney she wore Therese's necklace even when it didn't go with the outfit, 'and you know how particular she is about her accessories.'

'It was a terrible shock. And that horrible woman at the funeral.'

She did not bother informing her parents and Lainie of her good fortune.